On the 4th of July

I always struggle to get clear shots of the moon when the clouds are so beautifully framing it. Tonight was no exception. I don't have a fancy camera that can capture glorious shots from such long distances - just my phone camera. This reminds me of when Paul said that though we look through a dark glass now, we will one day see Jesus face to face. Just like my camera phone can't begin to capture the glory of the moon shining through surrounding clouds, neither can my human mind see or understand God as clearly as I want and probably ought.

I've had a glorious four day weekend for the 4th of July, 2017. How I have loved just being mom and taking care of things around the house and cooking and providing for my boys and their friends. I miss being "just a mom." I ache to give my young son the nurturing part of me that I lavished on my older boys when they were growing up. I don't want to just be someone who provides for him. I want to be here for him - not just in body, but in my heart and in my thoughts. I'm weary of having a fractured mind - one that is split into so many directions that I don't have time to stop and attentively listen. However, while I cannot see clearly what God is doing any more than my camera could capture the moon tonight, I do trust and strive to trust more and more that he knows what is best for us and that he will provide all we need for life and breath in order to honor him.

Happy Independence Day!

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

 There are moments, days, sometimes weeks when this is all I can do. Just breathe! Ironically, I don't do a very good job of that, either - hence the necessary steps broken down: inhale, exhale, repeat. It's kind of amazing how words affect us. In one day, this ring has reminded me to breathe several times. In the same way, God's word keeps me grounded by its truth. I ran across these verses the other day. The power in them left me dazed. Even breathless. If ever I ask myself why I am here, what is God's will for my life, I will always be able to find it here.

"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works." Titus 2:11-14, ESV


Oh, what powerful words! As I reflect on them, I realize more and more how selfish I am, wanting my life my way on my terms. Yet, it is Jesus who redeemed me. It is Jesus who purifies me. It is for his purpose I am to live because I am a part of his people. Who am I to tell him how to do his job? I long to be able to submit to my Savior more and more each day, and I know by his grace I will continue to grow in this way. Not simply because I wish it to be so, but because my Savior intends to make it so. That doesn't make my effort to live a godly life any less, but it does make the outcome a sure thing. Oh, the struggle is real, but so is my Jesus.  ~Soli Deo Gloria

Discovering Patience Through Healing

Photo by Linnette R Mullin

We are all on a journey, are we not? The question is, what journey are we on and where exactly are we going? Is there a destination to which we look forward while we're on life's journey and, if so, what is that destination? 

For so many years of my life, my goal was simply to survive the tests, trials, and heartaches that came into my life faster than I could breathe. I am a survivor, but only because God saw fit to reach down and pluck me from the torrent that had grown to out-of-control proportions. I was dying - body, soul, and spirit. Am I being a little over-dramatic? No. I cannot tell you in a few simple words from where I came, but I can tell you that the deep, dark vortex witnessed only by those closest to me was all too real. Thanks be to my heavenly Father that not only am I rescued from the trajectory I was on, but I'm walking a whole new journey.

I'm traversing a journey of healing and patience.

As I press onward, its seems the more I heal, the clearer the reality of what my life had been becomes. The pit is too deep, too dark, too slippery for human feet to safely ascend. But my heavenly Father goes before me, comes behind me and surrounds me with his strength, guidance, grace, goodness, loving-kindness, tender mercies, and forgiveness. And with each step the way gets a little brighter. I'm learning so many things about myself and my God. I'm learning to trust his tender love and care for me. And I'm learning to be patient - to be a child who waits on her Father, who renews her strength and mounts up with wings like an eagle, who runs but does not grow weary, who walks but does not faint. I'm learning to establish my heart...

"... establish your hearts ..." (James 5, ESV) "Jesus 'set his face to go to Jerusalem' (Luke 

9:51). Jesus knew what was going to happen in Jerusalem. He knew that the pressures were mounting and that his enemies were growing in number and ferocity. He knew that ahead lay desertion, trials, blood, sweat, tears, torture and agonizing death. But he knew something else. He knew that beyond all of these lay the resurrection, the ascension and eternal glory at the right hand of his Father, so he resolutely set out, refusing to yield to the pressure around him.

"This is exactly the spirit in which the writer to Hebrews says we are to live the Christian life: 'Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God' (Hebrews 12:1-2). The Bible does not speak of patience as waiting for something to happen, but rather as resolute endurance while things are happening and pressing on regardless of what may happen. Biblical patience is not rooted in fatalism that says everything is out of control. It is rooted in faith that says everything is in God's control." 

~ John Blanchard in "Truth for Life," pg 397-398.

I have a vision of the work God has for me to do down the road. I can see that there is a lot of hard, exhausting work in route - to prepare me, to develop this kind of patience in my heart. I can already see the fruit of patience sprouting in me and I'm so thankful! I have so far to go, but I'm also encouraged to see that he who began a good work in me has not given up on me. He continues to work in my heart and in my life and I am grateful beyond words! 

~ Soli Deo Gloria